Truly grown up

So here's what has been on and breaking  my heart recently.  Credit is due to my pastor for leading us through a series on elders and structuring the church in a Godly manner. He is following the Lord, and through him, the Lord has challenged me with this: 


In 1 Timothy 3, Paul lays out the qualifications for any man who aspires to be an overseer, an elder, in the church. Now, amongst this convicting list are the two verses I want to point out:


"Therefore an overseer [a man] must be ... the husband of one wife...He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive." - 1 Timothy 3: 2 & 4. (ESV)


When I was younger I was very hard on myself because I always compared myself to any man I came into contact with. Whether it was a friend, a parent, a stranger, or an actor, I compiled a list in my mind of "reasons why I am not a man, and never will be." I was cruel to myself. The list should have read, "Joel's idiotic list of worldly ideas he thinks are important. 


The list included (and how I didn't felt I didn't fit in):

• being tall (I'm short)
• being "buff" (not so much)
• being a football, basketball, or baseball player (I took dance lessons, no sports other than track)
• having extensive sports knowledge (I knew nothing)
• being "tough" (I consider myself sensitive to emotions and feelings)
• playing a manly instrument like the drums, or trumpet, or trombone (I play clarinet)

It could go on and on. I know now that I was completely foolish, and that I was not alone in my thinking. I feel that the world paints an image of what a man "should" be. You can see it based on the way men are portrayed in movies, TV shows, commercials. You can catch glimpses of it based on who are our celebrity idols. However, Paul challenges the false belief that the world presents. 

Questions to ponder as I have also been challenged by them:

1. When are we, as men, going to grow up?
2. When will we value our wives and our children more than money, sports, cars, and other meaningless items?
3. When will being a loving and tender husband be the "cool" thing. 
4. When will we place our children's lives in front of our own? (It makes a HUGE difference when a father invests time to love his sons and daughters)
5. When will you see men actually staying with their wives?
6. When will kids be able to remember their father being involved in their lives?
7. When will men sacrifice their own lives for the love of their children and wives just like Jesus sacrificed his life out of love for us. ( For us, maybe not necessarily through death, but through placing their needs before our own.)
8. When will admitting weakness be a strength instead of a hindrance as men hide behind life destroyers like alcoholism ?

It is time we grow up. That's what the Lord calls us to do.